


Sober Heart

by kenjilockwood



Category: True Beauty - Yaongyi (Webcomic), 여신강림 | True Beauty (Korea TV)
Genre: F/M, Idol Seojun Han
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:09:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29822655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenjilockwood/pseuds/kenjilockwood
Summary: Jugyeong has a discussion with her sister about their drinking habits, which brings about the realization that intoxication impairs all logical thought, abandons reason, and ignores the possibility of repercussions… in other words, you’re more likely to do what your heart wants when you’re inebriated…Or in better words, Jugyeong seems to naturally gravitate towards Han Seojun whenever she’s drunk.Set after the two year time jump in the Kdrama. Also, if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is a Seojun/Jugyeong fic.
Relationships: Seojun Han & Jugyeong Lim | Im Ju Kyung
Comments: 10
Kudos: 45





	Sober Heart

* * *

Jugyeong rolls her eyes and huffs as she watches her older sister stumble through the front door with half-lidded eyes. 

“Aish!” She glares. “Are you wasted again?!” Jugyeong asks in annoyance. 

Heegyeong blinks at her, and Jugyeong instantly regrets ever saying anything as her sister comes barreling towards her while shouting out a slur of, “Jugyeongiiiiiiieee!”

Jugyeong stomps her foot petulantly as her sister wraps her arms around her neck and hugs her tightly. “Yah! Get off me!” 

Heegyeong giggles as she continues to hold on tightly to her little sister. “I love you, Jugyeongie!” 

Jugyeong struggles to keep her drunk sister upright, half pulling and half dragging her towards the couch. Luckily for them, their parents were out for dinner, and Juyoung had tagged along, knowing that they’ll be eating at a nice place with expensive dishes. They always get expensive food when they go out alone! 

“Unnie!” Jugyeong snaps at the older girl. “Let go of me!” She yells as Heegyeong takes her with her when she falls onto the couch with a grin. 

“Ju—Jugyeongie.” She pauses and lets out a loud belch, making Jugyeong curse loudly and try even harder to break free of Heegyeong’s hold. 

She succeeds after a few seconds, huffing and glaring at her older sister. “Unnie, you’re old enough to know when to stop drinking! Why do you keep coming home wasted? Whyyy?”

Heegyeong merely giggles, pointing at Jugyeong. “Jugyeongie... did you know that I’m dating your teacher?” She pauses to giggle behind her hand as if she’s being discreet. As if what she’d just said was a huge secret.

Jugyeong rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “You’ve been dating him for over two years now, and he’s also no longer my teacher because I graduated two years ago!” 

Heegyeong, unfazed by Jugyeong’s tone, smiles widely and sits up. “I love him... he’s so— he’s so cute. And he’s— he likes holding my hand. My grapefruuuuuit!” 

Jugyeong sighs and shakes her head in defeat. “Why do you always talk about him when you’re drunk?” It was merely a rhetorical question. But her sister didn’t see it that way. 

“Because I love him! And I— I have to go see him!” She suddenly springs up on her feet and tries to make her way towards the door, but Jugyeong just pushes her back down on the couch. 

“You’re too drunk to even talk right. What makes you think you’ll even walk right?” 

Heegyeong makes a face at her little sister, narrowing her eyes before sheik king her feet petulantly. “I never stop you from trying to see Seojun when _you’re_ drunk! Why don’t you want me to be happy?!”

Jugyeong freezes at her sister’s words. “What?” 

Heegyeong kicks her feet petulantly as she whines. “Why do you not want me to be happy!?”

Jugyeong stares at her sister for another second, before huffing and taking her phone out to call Junwoo to come and get his girlfriend before she ties her to the couch. 

For the rest of the night, Jugyeong is unable to take her mind off of what Heegyeong had said. “I never stop you from trying to see Seojun when _you’re_ drunk!” 

She hadn’t expected that. And up until now, Jugyeong had never _really_ thought about the fact that literally every time she had been too drunk to properly function, Seojun had always been the one she calls, texts, or goes to... You would think that when intoxicated, she would be too gone to remember or care that she and Suho are broken up, and _he_ would be the one she would drunk dial or text... but no. When intoxicated, Seojun is always the only person she calls for. 

She thinks back to all the times that had happened, and she shivers at how often it had happened. 

The first time it happened was at her celebration when she was hired on as an intern for Selena. Jugyeong had gotten so drunk, she climbed on the bar, threw 8,000won at the bartender, and shouted that she was going to buy everyone drinks. 

She woke up the next day with absolutely no recollection of what happened, except for a thousand texts from Su-ah, asking if she’s okay. Jugyeong remembers their phone call from that morning.

She’d felt bad for missing all of Su-ah’s calls and texts because she overslept, so she immediately called her back. 

The phone barely got in 2 rings before Su-ah answered with a loud, “Yah, Lim Jugyeong! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

She’d been silent for a moment before apologizing. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t call you back because I was passed out.” 

“It’s 2pm!” Su-ah snapped, before a low sob came from the receiver. 

Jugyeong’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Su-ah, are you okay?”

“Where did you go?” Su-ah asked shakily. 

“What do you mean?”

“Last night. You went to the bathroom, and when you didn’t come back after 10 minutes, I went to check on you and you were gone!”

Jugyeong tried to recall what Su-ah’s telling her, but nothing came to mind. _How did I get home last night?_ She wondered. 

It was Heegyeong who came into her room a few minutes later to tell her that Seojun just left. 

“Huh?” She asked, confused about her message.

“Seojun.” Heegyeong repeated. “He just left and asked me to let you know that he’ll be back later.” 

Jugyeong blinked confusedly at her sister. “Why did he come if he’s going to just leave again?” 

Heegyeong glared at her in annoyance. “What the hell do you mean? The poor guy brought you home last night and you’re asking why he came?! Aish! Where are your manners and gratitude?” 

“Wait, what?” She instantly forgot that Su-ah was still on the phone and could hear them. “Seojun brought me home last night?”

Heegyeong snorted at that. “More like he carried you home. The poor thing nearly collapsed at our front door, and you had the audacity to refuse to get off his back. Mom and I had to pry you off of him!” 

Jugyeong’s memory slowly returned. It was all still hazy, but she did remember bits and pieces of the previous night as her face burned in embarrassment. “Oh no.” She closed her hands over her eyes and mentally slapped herself. “Was I really bad last night?” 

Heegyeong raises an eyebrow at her. “Juyoung said you’re worse than me.” 

At this, Jugyeong immediately shakes her head. “No, that’s— how is that even possible?!” 

Heegyeong couldn’t help but smirk. “I’ve been drunk countless times and have always managed to get myself home. You, on the other hand, gets drunk once and brings a whole man home with you!” 

She felt her face grow warm as she stared at her sister with a horrified expression. “How did I end up with Seojun?”

Heegyeong laughs at that. “Apparently, you climbed out of the window when you saw someone who looked like him, passing by the bar. Then you drunk dialed him and told him that, and that you were lost. He called me afterwards to see if I could track where you are using your phone and our family plan. I told him where you were, he found you, and then he brought you home.”

Jugyeong’s face burned even brighter, and she jumped when she remembered that Su-ah was still on the phone when she dropped it on the bed. “Su-ah?” 

“Yah, Lim Jugyeong! Are you and Seojun secretly dating now?” Came Su-ah’s excited question. 

She didn’t answer her, but Jugyeong remembers being super embarrassed as she hurriedly made up an excuse to hang up, before collapsing back onto her bed and letting out a loud, frustrated groan. 

That was the first time. The second time happened several days later, and she woke up the next day, horrified to find a large amount of long, misspelled, and inherently embarrassing texts she had sent to Seojun while she was drunk. 

She’d literally contemplated moving out of the country, just to avoid seeing him and getting embarrassed beyond belief when he undoubtedly teases her about it. 

Much to her surprise and annoyance, it was Heegyeong and not Seojun, who teased her about the texts. 

“Yah! Were you raised in a barn?! Why were you texting crazy nonsense to poor Seojun?!”

Jugyeong felt her eyes widening as she closed the refrigerator and turned to look at her older sister. “What?”

Heegyeong shook her head and huffed. “Let me guess... you don’t remember?” 

Jugyeong’s face morphed into that of an injured mouse. “How did you know about the texts?” 

Her sister couldn’t help but laugh. “Seojun’s phone was beeping like crazy during his band practice last night. I was there to see how they were doing, and I was sitting next to the chair he’d put his phone on. So when his phone just kept beeping, I decided to see who it was... And lo and behold, I see your name, 17 times!” She huffs and asks, “Are you insane?!”

Jugyeong winced as she remembers seeing her embarrassingly long string of outgoing texts to Seojun. “Please tell me you stole his phone.” She said in a small voice. 

Heegyeong glared at her. “Who do you think I am? Robin Hood?” 

Jugyeong shook her head and asked, “So what happened?” She didn’t even know if she wanted to know the answer to that question. 

“What do you think?!” Heegyeong snaps at her. “Seojun read your texts and then asked me to go with him to get you!”

Jugyeong felt hope rising up in her chest. Maybe she could still salvage some of her dignity. “You picked me up?” She asked hopefully. 

Heegyeong frowns at her. “Geez, you’re a scary drunk. You really don’t remember what happened last night?”

All she could do was shake her head in reply. 

Heegyeong snorted with laughter. “Let me just put it this way. When Seojun and I showed up at the bar to get you, I instantly became the first invisible woman on the planet.” 

“Huh?” Jugyeong asked confusedly. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean that when you saw us, you completely ignored me, and then practically climbed your way up Seojun’s long legs, before clinging onto him like a monkey.”

Jugyeong’s heart stopped as all the color drained from her face. “Please tell me that’s not true.” She begged. “Please tell me I didn’t actually embarrass myself like that in front of Seojun.”

Heegyeong gave her a semiserious look. “I wish I was lying, Jugyeong. I was suffering last night from secondhand embarrassment as well.” 

Jugyeong thought she was never going to live it down, but Seojun suddenly showed up that evening, ate most of the food her mom made, and never once mentioned her texts. 

Her texts... _Dear Lord, what the hell was I thinking?!_

_ Time stamp (1:37 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Seooojhuun! I middd u. Wherr r u,,, I misdd ui. You r so preetty and I lov e yur huggs. I misd uu fjdkdkcksl_

_ Time stamp (1:41 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Suuunjeo! Beer tasted so ngosks. Imosrdyoiiiu. I mis ur pretty fasce._

_ Time stamp (1:48 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Soejjuinm wy am I here’m where art uu. Miss ur face._

_ Time stamp (1:50 AM)  _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: I want to hand out wifh u. Okl ?_

_ Time stamp (1:51 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Look cs j K so_

_ Time stamp (1:52 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Im sexcy. Snd ur sexy. An i thimk u have long legs. I habd smoll legsz miss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuioodldkgkljllj_

_ Time stamp (1:58 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Hey, this is Su-ah. Could you come get Jugyeong? She’s beyond wasted and won’t shut up about you._

_ Time stamp (2:04 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Suyaa tok myy phon. Com get.me becus I mise u.and Sua is mean and wonnf let me dirnk. Savemee_

_ Time stamp: (2:07 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: YSHH do Yu hate me! I hatex youi bt I like u. I lik ur hair and you smell godd_

_ Time stamp: (2:10 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: Ilike this song_

_ Time stamp: (2:13 AM) _

**_Jugyeong:_ ** _It’s a gcool songgggg_

_ Time stamp: (2:15 AM) _

**_Jugyeong_ ** _: R u sleeping ignorng me ?,,,,,,,,_

_ Time stamp: (2:24 AM)  _

**_Seojun_ ** _: Yah, Lim Jugyeong. It’s the middle of the night! Why are you drunk at 2am?_

_ Time stamp (2:24 AM) _

**_Seojun_ ** _: Nevermind. I’ll call Su-ah for the address to your location. Stay put and don’t go anywhere!_

Jugyeong texted Seojun another 8 times before Seojun finally showed up. 

“Seojunnn!” Jugyeong practically throws herself across the table, scrambling to the other side, before sprinting full speed at her best friend. Guy best friend, because Su-ah and Sujin are her girl besties. 

Su-ah nearly chokes on her drink as she watches Jugyeong literally climb Seojun like a tree, and then flings her arms around his neck while her legs wrap around his waist. She noticed the horrified look on Heegyeong’s face, and she couldn’t help but laugh as Jugyeong starts sobbing loudly, asking Seojun what the hell took him so long. 

Jugyeong visibly shudders at the memory of Heegyeong retelling what had happened that night. 

The third time wasn’t as bad as the second one. It was a little more tame, and Seojun had been there the whole time, celebrating her birthday with her and all their friends. She remembers him sitting down next to her and not once touching his glass. 

When she asked him why he wasn’t drinking, his reply was, “Who’s gonna take you home when you’re wasted?” 

And he did. Take her home. Because she was wasted. And according to Juyoung, she’d refused to let go of Seojun when he put her in her bed. It wasn’t until he gave her a stuffed teddy bear, that she finally let him go, and hugged the teddy bear instead while whispering, “Seojun’s hugs are the best.” 

She utterly refused to acknowledge that last bit the next day... or ever. 

The fourth time was... it was a nightmare. 

Again, she didn’t remember anything the next morning. And of course, it was Heegyeong who told her what had happened. She didn’t ask immediately though, as she had to rush to work to do the makeup for some of the members from one of the groups that just debuted. But when she saw Seojun’s band mates grinning at her and asking her if she was okay, she became curious... and confused. But mostly curious. 

Seojun insisted that she didn’t have to know, and that it wasn’t anything bad, but she needed to know. She needed to fill in the blank spots of her memory... she should’ve listened to Seojun. 

“Yah, Lim Jugyeong!” Heegyeong’s voice carried over from where she was standing in her office. 

Jugyeong looked up and waved at her older sister, who waved for her to go over. She did. And she regretted it. As soon as she stepped past the door line, Heegyeong shuts the door quickly behind the younger Lim sibling and turned to glare at her. “What in the world is wrong with you?” She asked in a hard, irritated tone. 

Jugyeong looked at her sister confusedly. “What?”

“What do you mean, _‘what?’_?” Heegyeong asked exasperatedly. “Did you not embarrass yourself enough last night?” 

This time, Jugyeong’s eyes widened as she moved towards her sister and asked, “Do you know what happened last night?” She winced and added another question. “Was I really bad?”

Heegyeong rubs her forehead in frustration. “Yah. You weren’t even _you_ last night.”

“Huh?” She didn’t know what that even meant.

Heegyeong suddenly put up her fists in front of Jugyeong and exaggerated a punch in the air. “Your exact words as you rolled like gimbap from the door to the first pillar in the studio Seojun and his band mates were in, was,” Heegyeong paused to clear her throat, before starting back up with a squeaky impression of Jugyeong’s drunk voice. “I am a Ninja. I am invisible. No one can see me’.”

Jugyeong couldn’t say or do anything. She just stared in horror at her sister.

“And then you did a weird crouching thing, and tried to frog leap over a chair. Of course, you failed and almost face-planted, but luckily, you managed to steady yourself. However, you then flopped onto the floor and low crawled past me across the room towards the next pillar. That went on for the next two pillars, and then you spent a full two minutes doing weird hand motions and sound effects as if you were fighting an invisible army of hobbits...We all just stood there and watched you being an idiot.” she trailed off to think before continuing. “And finally, you did an awkward slow motion walk towards Han Seojun and grabbed his arm, whispering, ‘It’s safe now.’... and then you ran off with him.” 

She remembered a single flash of memory from the night before. None of what her sister just mentioned.

Seojun was laughing as she dragged him to the main entrance of the building. “Jugyeong, what are you doing?” 

She stopped abruptly, looked him dead in the eye, and with the most dramatically serious voice, replied, “I’m rescuing you.” 

He’d smiled, and somewhere in her alcohol addled mind, she’d realized she was drunk. She’d realized it because she thought to herself, _He has the most beautiful smile._

And that was all she remembered. 

The fifth and sixth time were quite uneventful (thank goodness), but Seojun had been there to pick her up from the bar and take her home. All their friends had come to just expect him to be the one to take her home. Without hesitation, they would call Seojun whenever Jugyeong got drunk. And for some godforsaken reason, she never remembers. 

**_ Present Time _ ** _:_

For the rest of the night, Jugyeong is unable to go to sleep. All she could do was think about all those times. Embarrassing memories that she’d forced herself to repress. She couldn’t help but wonder if she was repressing them because she’d embarrassed herself all those times, or because she knew, deep down inside, that there were feelings there that she wasn’t quite ready to deal with. 

“Jugyeoooong.” 

Jugyeong jumps a little at the sound of her sister’s loud whining. She groans as she blinks her eyes open, seeing Heegyeong laying literally in front of her, staring right into her face. 

“Yah, Heegyeong!” Jugyeong snaps as she sits up and glares at her. “What the hell are you doing?”

Heegyeong groans too and shakes her head. “I’m so hungry, Jugyeong-ah. Can you do me a favor?”

Her answer is already on the tip of her tongue. “No.” 

“Please!” Heegyeong whines even louder. “I’m literally dying.”

“Then die.” Jugyeong replies, turning over and facing the wall. 

“Yah, Jugyeong! Is that any way to talk to the one person who knows all your secrets?!”

Jugyeong doesn’t bother moving, eyes still closed as she replies, “You don’t know anything.” 

She feels her bed shift, and could tell that her sister was now sitting up. She expects a slap to the back of her head, or a forehead flick, or even a hair pull. What she didn’t expect, was for Heegyeong to say something that makes her heart stop for a single moment. 

“So you won’t care if I tell Han Seojun that you like him?”

She never moved as fast as she did in that moment. Jugyeong practically catapulted up into a sitting position, twisting around and glaring at her older sister. “What?!” She bellows angrily. “I don’t— pfff— no, I— what— I do not— where did you— how—“.

Heegyeong grins widely at her little sister’s spluttering. “Hmm, maybe it’s love instead of like.” 

Jugyeong’s eyes nearly pop out of their sockets. “It’s not! I’m not—mmphhh!” Heegyeong stops her with a hand over her mouth. 

“Jugyeong. The more you panic, the harder it is for anyone to understand what you’re trying to say.” 

Jugyeong pries her sister’s hand off her mouth. “I don’t like him.” She manages to finally get the words out. At the look on her sisters face, eyebrows raised, lopsided smirk, eyes twinkling with mirth, she continues. “I don’t like Han Seojun. Not like— not like _that_. He’s— I don’t like him because— I don’t like him. I _don’t_.” 

Heegyeong’s smirk widens further. “Are you trying to convince _me_ that you don’t like him?.. Or are you trying to convince _yourself_?” 

Jugyeong glares. “I’m trying to convince you! You’re the one who thinks I like him, but I don’t...” she trails off as she stares down at her folded legs. “... I _can’t_ like him.” Her chest hurts. 

Heegyeong sighs softly as she leans forward and takes her sisters face, turning it up to face hers. “Why can’t you like him?”

Jugyeong shakes her head. “I can’t... I just can’t.” 

“Why?” Heegyeong asks exasperatedly. “Did the Seojun-Police deem it illegal for you to like him?” She asks sarcastically. 

“I shouldn’t like him. It’s—“.

“Shouldn’t?” The older sibling laughs at that. “Why shouldn’t you? What’s wrong with him?” She shakes her head furiously at her younger sister. “Do you have any idea how perfect he is?” Heegyeong suddenly springs off the bed, standing with her hands on her hips, eyes narrowed, ready to give her sister a stern scolding. “Jugyeong. Are you— are you stupid?”

Jugyeong looks up and glares. “Yah!” 

“What?” Heegyeong challenges. She holds one hand up and puts down one finger. “He’s kind.” She begins, and then puts down another finger. “He’s charming.” She puts down a third finger. “He’s always there for you, even though you’re clearly clueless about it.” Another finger. “He’s supportive of you and all the dumb things you do.” Fifth finger. “He puts up with all your weird and borderline illegal drunken behavior.” 

Jugyeong opens her mouth to say something, but Heegyeong continues. One hand goes down as the other hand comes up with one finger already down. “He always remembers your birthday and gets you something for every holiday.” Seventh finger. “He eats spicy food daily, even though he gets really sick afterwards, just because you like spicy food!” Eighth finger. “He walks you home every night, sometimes even waiting over an hour for you to get off work, just so he can walk you home!” Ninth finger. “He has carried you home every single time you got drunk!” Tenth finger. “He’s so handsome, that girls literally walk into walls because they’re too busy staring at him. Hell, if he were my age, I would’ve made him my Grapefruit!” She pauses and looks down at her fist. “I’ve run out of fingers.” She looks at her sister in disbelief. “I’ve run out of fingers, but I haven’t run out of things to say about how perfect that young man is.” 

Jugyeong is staring at her sister, feeling a mixture of confused, bewildered, and sadness. Her lower lip trembles as she asks, “He gets sick from eating spicy foods?”

Heegyeong doesn’t know if she wants to pull her own hair, or pull Jugyeong’s instead. “Are you really that clueless?” 

Jugyeong looks down, feeling ashamed. She hadn’t known about him not being able to handle spicy foods. In her defense, he’d lied to her about liking it... but that’s not an excuse. She should’ve known. He’s her best friend. Her guy. Her guardian angel... she should’ve known that he gets sick from eating spicy foods. Her chest hurts. “Does he really get sick from spicy foods?”

Heegyeong nods her head. “When I brought spicy tteokbokki last year for him and his bandmates to share, he said it makes him sick... but when you brought it for him a few days later, I watched him eat all of it and refused to share it with anyone.”

Jugyeong remembers that day. She watched him happily eat all of it. She’d felt glad that he was eating the food she got him. The food she would always pick for them to eat, nearly every day.

“He threw up violently after you left. It was _then_ that I realized how much he likes you... he would willingly get sick everyday, if it meant you were happy.” 

Jugyeong’s eyes are already filled with tears, vision blurred as she stares down at the edge of her bed. “I didn’t know.” She whispers softly. 

Heegyeong sighs as she sits back down and looks at her sister. “Why do you keep pushing his feelings away?” She doesn’t wait for a reply. “Is it because you’re still waiting for Suho?... or is it because you’re afraid that Suho might be waiting for you?”

Jugyeong looks at her sister as the tears cascade down her puffy pink cheeks. “What if he comes back after his dad gets better and finds out that I’ve just moved on to his best friend?”

Heegyeong resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Are you his wife or something? You don’t owe anyone anything. You don’t have to put yourself through all of this, just because you’re afraid of hurting other people. And additionally, why are you afraid of hurting Suho, but not afraid of hurting Seojun?”

Jugyeong sighs softly. “I never actually knew about Seojun’s feelings for me until just recently... I didn’t know I was hurting him. And by the time I realized, I was too afraid of ever acknowledging them, in case it makes things worse between him and Suho.” 

“Are you still in love with Suho?”

Jugyeong looks up, slightly taken aback by the question. _Is she still in love with Suho?_ “I— I don’t know. I don’t think about him as much. I still think he was a great boyfriend, but—“.

“But that’s just it, Jugyeong.” Heegyeong softly cuts back in. “You probably feel the way you do because you’ve only ever dated Suho, and he was always so good to you. But he’s not here anymore. He’s in America with his dad. He broke up with you. And you’re here. You don’t have to hold back your feelings for someone, just because you think it might hurt someone else. You can’t put your life on hold, Jugyeong. You deserve to feel whatever you want to feel, for whoever you want to feel it for.” 

Jugyeong stares at her sister. “But what if I’m still in love with Suho?”

Heegyeong smiles at her. “Do you know why I never worry about you when you’re drunk?”

Jugyeong’s eyebrows furrow at the question. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Someone once said, ‘A drunk mind speaks a sober heart’.” She pauses to take her sisters hand in hers. “When I’m drunk, all I ever want is my Grapefruit. When mom is drunk, she lets go of her pride and seeks out dad. When dad is drunk, he waxes poetic to mom, and then gets hit over the head with her slipper because of it.” They both laugh at that, shaking their heads in unison at their parents’ very odd behavior towards one another. “And do you know what _you_ do— without fail, when _you’re_ drunk out of your mind?” 

Jugyeong shrugs. “I don’t usually remember.” 

“Han. Seojun.” 

“What?”

“You call Han Seojun. You text Han Seojun. You talk nonstop about Han Seojun. You look for Han Seojun. You find Han Seojun. You hug Han Seojun and utterly refuse to let go of him until we pry you off of him with a crowbar. Every single thing you think, say, or do when you’re drunk, has something to do with Han Seojun... in your drunken state, you don’t think, say, or do anything that has to do with Suho, or Su-ah, or Sujin, or anyone else on this planet... the only person you look for when your mind is the most dysfunctional, is Han Seojun.. because somewhere deep inside you, you _know_ he’s the only person you want.” Heegyeong smiles widely at her sister. “We say what we want when we’re drunk... and you, Jugyeong-ah... you _scream_ Han Seojun.”

Silence. 

Jugyeong couldn’t say or do anything. She just sits there, staring at her sister through blurry, tear-filled eyes. Tears stream down her cheeks as a wave of memories break through the mental dam in her mind. 

Wave, after wave, after wave of Han Seojun. 

...

_“Han Seojuuuuunnnn!”_

_“Yah, Lim Jugyeong!” Comes Seojun’s familiar baritone._

_Drunk Jugyeong doesn’t bother giving him time to turn as she practically leaps into the air and flings herself onto his back, wrapping her arms around his front like a spider monkey._

_He barely sways under her weight, choosing instead to huff as he reaches around his back and grabs her thighs to hold her steady. He jumps a little, scooting her further up on his back at a better position. “Hold on tight, okay?” He asks over his shoulder as he begins to walk._

_Jugyeong nods as she tightens her hold around his broad shoulders and props her chin up on his shoulder. “Mmm, don’t let me fall?”_

_There’s a moment of silence as he walks down the quiet street. “Never.” He promises softly._

_..._

_“I need Seojun-ah!” She nearly knocks Sujin’s drink over as she stands, pounding her fists on their table. Her eyes are barely open as she points randomly across the room and shouts, “You! Call Seojun-ah and tell him I—_ hiccup _— Tell need I Seojun-ah him.”_

_Sujin groans loudly as she forces Jugyeong to sit back down. “If you sit down and stay still for a few minutes, I’ll call him. Okay?”_

_“Who?” Jugyeong slurs._

_Sujin blinks at her. “Han Seojun.”_

_Jugyeong’s posture snaps to perfection as she raises her right hand and salutes Sujin. “Yes, Sir!”_

_Sujin sighs as she takes out her phone and looks for Seojun’s name in her contact list. She rings him up, and thanks the heavens when he answers a few rings later. “Han Seojun.” She greets politely._

_“Kang Sujin.” He returns pleasantly._

_“Erm— it’s Jugyeong.”_

_Pause._

_“Is she okay? Where is she? Where are you? Is she there with you?”_

_“Yah, calm down. She’s fine. Just too drunk to walk... or function.” She adds as she watches Jugyeong try to eat a napkin._

_“I’m on my way. Text me the address.”_

_“Got it. Thank you.”_

_He’s there in approximately 11 minutes, jacket already leaving his shoulders and being wrapped around Jugyeong’s tiny frame._

_Jugyeong jumps a little, head tilting upwards and eyes meeting the familiar almond eyes of her best friend. She won’t ever tell Su-ah and Sujin that Seojun is her best friend (she didn’t need to though, because they already know.)._

_“You’re here.” She smiles widely, feeling that familiar, warm, fuzzy feeling spread across her chest and slither down her whole body._

_Seojun smiles back at her as he straddles the bench she’s sitting on, and sits down right next to her. “Yes. Were you waiting long?”_

_She nods her head up and down. “Yes... I was— I was waiting for you to take me home.” She mumbles sleepily._

_Seojun nods and looks up at Sujin and some of their other former classmates. “I’ll take her home now.” None of them protest, all smiling fondly at the two as Seojun begins to help Jugyeong to her feet. “Let’s get you home then, okay?”_

_Jugyeong nods, almost tripping if Seojun hadn’t been holding onto her. “Where are you— we going?” She slurs._

_Seojun chuckles softly. “Home.”_

_Jugyeong stops, looking up into Seojun’s eyes once more. “But... I’m already home.” She raises a hand and touches his cheek, staring deeply into his eyes._

_“AISH! YAH HAN SEOJUN, get her out of here already!” Chorong groans. Sujin gags a little as everyone else cringes at the exchange between Seojun and Jugyeong. They were like an old married couple from a cheesy 60’s romantic film._

_Seojun isn’t even fazed as he raises a hand behind him and flips all of them off._

_..._

_Last Saturday (Also the last night Jugyeong was drunk)._

_It was the usual. She gets too drunk, someone calls Seojun, and he immediately comes to get her._

_He tries and fails to get her on his back, Jugyeong getting sidetracked and distracted by fish tanks, a little boy’s convertible toy motor car, an octopus that just wanted to be free. Like her. Seojun finally just throws her over his shoulder and takes off with her, only putting her down once they were away from everything that could possibly distract her._

_“Here. Drink this.” Seojun says as he opens a bottle of water and hands it to her. She takes a few sips, sighing as she leans back a little and looks up at the sky. By this time, she was just tipsy, but that could change if she stands back up._

_“Seojun-ah.” She smiles at him. He’s not looking at her. “Han Seojunnn.” She drawls._

_He looks at her and sighs. “What?”_

_She stares at him, noticing the hard line replacing his heartwarming smiles, the squinty almond eyes that usually widen and sparkle whenever she looks at them, the exhaustion written all over his body and face. It makes her sad. It makes her sad because he looks sad. “You look sad.” She says softly._

_He averts his gaze to the ground in front of him. “You look drunk.” He returns._

_Jugyeong scoots closer into his side. “Please don’t be sad.”_

_He stares at the ground for a few moments before slowly turning his head and looking at her. Their faces were so close, she could smell his intoxicating cologne and he could smell the intoxication on her. “Why?” He asks shakily._

_Her reply is automatic, as if the answer is quite simple. “Because I don’t like seeing you sad.”_

_“And I don’t like seeing you drunk.” He replies. “Every time you get drunk, you come to me. You show me things that hurts my heart. You give me hope that tears me apart when you’re sober... I can’t— I don’t know what to do with you anymore.” He looks away, as if ashamed. “I don’t know if I can keep doing this.”_

_Was he breaking up their friendship? She suddenly felt like crying. A world where Seojun isn’t there for her when she needs him, is not a world at all. What will she do if he suddenly stops caring? What if he leaves one day? What if he no longer comes for her? Who will take her home? Who will carry her and promise to never let her fall?_

_The world suddenly felt too small, the walls closing in on her, tears escaping the corners of her eyes as she begins to hyperventilate. All the scenarios she could think of, flashing inside her mind, but without Seojun. It was dark, and dreary, and miserable. It was terrifying. It was lonely. It was her biggest fear. Losing him. The waterworks come in hot, snot and all._

_Seojun jumps a little when he turns to see her crying— sobbing— having an asthma attack? He wasn’t sure. “Yah, Jugyeong.” He jumps to a crouch in front of her, grabbing her shoulders. “Are you— what— Jugyeong-ah! Breathe!”_

_Jugyeong breathes— wheezes; she wheezes as she looks up at her best friend. “Will— will— will you stop coming to get me?” She wails._

_Seojun stare, then blinks, then blinks some more, then stares again. “What the hell?” He mutters under his breath. “Why are you crying like that? I almost had a heart attack, I thought you were choking or something!”_

_“You promised you would never let me fall!” She cries, ignoring the embarrassment as Seojun raises a hand and wipes her nose with his hand. “You promised that you would always come for me!”_

_Seojun sighs, shaking his head at her as he wipes her snot on his pants. “Okay, enough.”_

_“No!” Jugyeong jumps to her feet, feeling a little too confident in her sobriety, and ends up nearly falling down the steps they’re sitting on, if it hadn’t been for Seojun’s quick reflexes. He didn’t even move from his place, only reaching out and grabbing her hand to steady her. But of course, with her being not only clumsy, but also drunk, she sways towards him, and ends up flopping into his lap like a giant fish._

_Staring. That’s literally all they do for the next minute or so, just staring into each other’s eyes as if they held infinite knowledge._

_Seojun swallows hard, looking down at her hand still wrapped in his. He suddenly shifts, moving to pull her off of him, but she stops him with her free hand on his chest._

_“Seojun.” She mumbles._

_He looks back up at her with a questioning gaze, and she suddenly feels nervous. She’s not sure what happened in that moment. All she knew, was that she could not, for the life of her, stop her traitorous eyes from shifting to stare at his lips._

_She’d always thought he had nice lips. They were plump, but not overly so. They were full without being feminine. They were mesmerizing but— but— but nothing. They were just mesmerizing. And she wants to know what they feel like. She couldn’t be bothered with anymore thoughts as she finally leans in towards him. And just as she’s about to close her eyes, Seojun suddenly clears his throat and moves them both to a standing position._

_“Let’s get you home.” He says hoarsely._

_She felt disappointed. She felt upset. She hated the thoughts and the sinking feeling in her chest as he stoops down and tells her to get on his back, like he always does. She swallows her pain and pride, climbing onto his back and wrapping her arms around his shoulders, letting him carry her home. Like he always does._

_It was the first time he had ever hurt her._

...

Heegyeong stares at her sister as she silently cries. Tears just falling nonstop from her cheeks. “Jeez.” The older woman says under her breath. “It’s not that painful to know, is it?” 

After a very long couple of seconds, Jugyeong comes back from her memories, looking at her sister with a shocked expression as she finally speaks. Whispers, actually. “I love him.”

Heegyeong nods. “It’s kind of obvious.”

“I _love_ Han Seojun.” 

“Yeah. And he loves you too, for some reason.” Heegyeong jokes. “I mean, the man has the patience of a saint, because if I were him, I would’ve kicked you to the curb and dated Su-ah or even Sujin, but—“.

“Oh my God.” Jugyeong interrupts loudly. “I’m in love with Han Seojun!”

Heegyeong blinks incredulously at her sister. “Were you sleeping for the past 10 minutes? I know, Jugyeong— what the— Jugyeong!” Heegyeong watches as her sister leaps from her bed and runs towards the door. 

“I have to get ready!”

Heegyeong picks up her phone and looks at the date and time. “It’s Saturday! You don’t have to go to work!”

The door swings open again as Jugyeong comes rushing back and grabs her towel. “I know. I have to get ready to go tell Han Seojun that I love him!”

Heegyeong laughs at that, then laughs even harder when Jugyeong stubs her toe on the door on her way out. She sits back, letting her laughter die down as she smiles proudly. Her smile suddenly slides off her face when she realizes, “Ah, damn it. Now she can’t go get me a bacon cheeseburger.” She rolls her eyes and stands, rolling her shoulders and walking to the door. “Ohh, Juyoungieee my favorite brother! Where are you?” She calls out through the hallway. 

“I’m your _only_ brother!” Juyoung shouts back from somewhere downstairs.

Heegyeong grins widely as she walks towards the stairs. “Yes, that’s why you’re my favorite—“.

“No!” Heegyeong hears Juyoung call, followed by the sound of running feet and the front door slamming shut. 

“YAH! JUYOUNG, get back here!” Heegyeong shouts as she starts up in a run to catch her little brother. 

...

A/N: Second and final chapter will be up soon! Let me know what you think in the comments section! Many thanks for reading. 

-Kenji


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